Sisters

How can one enjoy others’ company so thoroughly, and yet be willing to get back home.  In truth, I know the answer, at least in Jungian psychology, but I had no idea how tired I’d be.   I spent the weekend in the company of women I hadn’t seen in nearly 30 years – sorority sisters from Carnegie Mellon University.  After a thoroughly enjoyable, emotional, and tiring weekend, I was absolutely wiped.

When we left school – after a few years for some, more for others – keeping track of one another was work.  Long-distance telephone charges were prohibitive, particularly for those just starting entry-level jobs, paper-and-pen correspondence took longer than many of us had, and the internet was but a concept only a few scientists understood.  Even those of us at Carnegie Mellon didn’t really have a concept of how easy it would be to share our lives this much later.

Forty-eight hours of reminded friendship.  Fory-eight hours to catch up on lives — marriages, relationships, children, parents, work, successes.  Note the failures aren’t mentioned.  I guess it takes more than forty-eight hours to get back to that level.  We shared happy, and not-so-happy.  We celebrated successes – in careers and in life – not the least of which was beating cancer.   I wonder how much of our reluctance to go to bad places is the filter of time, how much the filter of concern, and how much the realization we had only forty-eight hours and we needed to make it count.   While we believe we’ll see each other again in a couple of years, that may not be so.   It wasn’t difficult, though, to remind ourselves what made us friends.

I was struck by the similarities more so than the differences.  Thirty years of life hasn’t changed the essence of the women we  chose to call sister back then.   Oh, maybe we are a little less physically active, we drink a bit less, and we didn’t worry about being thrown out of the hotel lobby at some ungodly hour.  Maybe we were a bit more concerned with sleep and less with staying up all night. Maybe we talked a little more of medicines and less of vices.  (I bet if we’d been in a dormitory instead, things would have been different.)

We had time to become reacquainted, and I hope to rekindle the bonds of friendship.  We kept dicussions superficial, and that’s probably right.  We need to remind ourselves why we were friends, and we had just barely enough time to do that.

Makes me wonder about friendships among women who see each other nearly every day, whose lives intersect frequently, year after year.   In some ways I long for it; in others I don’t.  So I’m glad I have my life, and others have theirs, I guess.

At some time, I hope to be able to discuss more in-depth topics with these dear friends.  For now, I’m so very thankful they chose to spend their weekend together.

In the Bonds, all.

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Published in: on March 11, 2009 at 9:55 pm  Leave a Comment  

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